Hungover Owl

colossal-sweat:

walking out of a bathroom with no hand dryers like

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I’m not going to be the girl you marry, but I’ll be the girl you’ll be thinking of 20 years from now while you engage in polite sex with your boring wife who fakes her orgasm to make you feel better about your receding hairline.

e.b. (via iamcharliesangel)

😂

(via babypreach)

dopeybeauty:

aurora is the queen bitc

vanjalen:

They have everythibg here

vanjalen:

They have everythibg here

irvinatorr:

wow the fifty shades of grey movie looks intense

irvinatorr:

wow the fifty shades of grey movie looks intense

thespacegoat:

zacksplosion:

gimmegrimmy:

thecityofpawnee:

nerdmodeactivated:

tea-in-the-tardis:

bakuraryou:

OK SO IN ENGLAND THIS IS WHAT A RUBBER IS

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AND SOMEONE ON MY DASH JUST MENTIONED PUTTING A ‘RUBBER’ ON YOUR PENIS AND

I GOT REALLY REALLY CONFUSED

THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A RUBBER IN AUSTRALIA TOO. WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.

SAME WITH NEW ZEALAND.

We don’t have those in America because we don’t make mistakes.

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THAT WAS ONE TIME

HE WAS ELECTED TWICE.